How faithful are you, financially?
How faithful are you, financially?
0 Comments | DNA. Sunday; Mumbai, Jul 18, 2010 | by Kumaran, Uttarika
When 27-year-old financial consultant Prerna Sinha tied the knot, her husband, accustomed to living in South Mumbai, expected her to contribute to the exorbitant rent of their new South Mumbai apartment. “He asked me details about my income. Without even thinking, I told him a figure that was about Rs15,000 less than what I make,” says Prerna.
Or take the case of 35-year-old copywriter Stan Braganza. He shared a joint account with his former wife, but had another account for investments which he hid from her during their marriage. “The only reason I did that is that my investments were on the riskier side, such as stocks and real estate. I just wanted the freedom to invest without the fear of hearing an ‘I told you so’ from her when things didn’t go well,” he says.
It’s about control
Money has traditionally been one of the sticky points of a marriage. And when one partner conceals information from the other – either what they earn or what they spend or what they invest – it could lead to marital turbulence. In India, however, the underlying issue behind financial infidelity has less to do with who’s hiding how much, than with control, as in the case of Braganza.
“Money plays two important roles: it offers security and it offers freedom,” says Dr Kamal Khurana, a New Delhi-based marriage therapist, “Security refers to saving for the future while freedom refers to the ability to acquire and own. Such attitudes are imbibed in us as we grow up. Generally, girls are raised to believe in the importance of saving while boys are more likely to be indulged through spending.” In Dr Khurana’s experience, financial conflicts in a marriage tend to be a clash between such divergent attitudes about spending and expenditure.
In fact, in 2005, a nationwide study conducted in the United States among married couples found that one in three had lied to their partner about finances, most often about personal spending or spending on the kids. With the subsequent recession, layoffs and rising debts, these numbers are believed to have worsened. Financial experts like David Bach, author of Smart Couples Finish First, list financial infidelity as among the top four reasons for divorce
financial copywriter